Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the life everlasting. NIV
What a beautiful prayer.
There are not as many verses listed under “anxiety” in my concordance as there are under “worry,” but, the worry list is becoming repetitive, so, I thought I would skip around a bit.
Anxiety and worry are, at a minimum, close cousins.
I have pondered this verse for several minutes, and I am still not certain what David means when he writes, “test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Does he mean that God should put him to a test to see if David will worry about it? The Hebrew to English dictionary in my concordance says that the word “test” here means, “to test and learn the genuineness of an object.”
Or, does he mean that God should examine David and understand that he is genuinely worried?
If I put this in the context of all of the other reminders not to worry that are included in the Bible, and, because the next verse says, “see if there is any offensive way in me,” I am thinking that it is the former.
In any case, that’s what I want … I want to be so free of worry and anxiety that even under pressure or a test, I will continue to trust God as my first instinct, not as my last resort.
That’s my prayer today.
It makes complete sense to me as of your posting, that the words genuine and worry do not belong together. I understand now that David is telling God that his thoughts won’t pass God’s test in any way, shape or form. It is comforting and assuring to know that even David knew this and still worried so we are all going to have this disconnect to fix. My anxious thoughts are offensive to the Lord and lead me down an unproductive rabbit trail. If I can connect disdain to anxiety, that might nip it in the bud!